Dear Ironman
I'm glad you enjoyed reading the article I mailed you as much as I enjoyed watching you in action. This is strictly a clinical observation in regard to your performance. I am still not taking sides. It's like asking a newborn-orphaned baby to decide which foster parent it would like to shoot. The infant doesn't know both of them well enough and doesn't really care. I hope you can understand and appreciate my situation, better?
This might come as a surprise to you but I was part of the trio that initiated and baptized LA1924, in a dingy bar called Tom's, opposite Fanoos kabab joint with two older acquaintances (you probably know that I have very few who I choose to consider as friends). The two had just finished conducting a speechcraft session, where I was a participant. We were brainstorming over beer about starting a club. A club, which would consist of individuals with a desire to discover the best in themselves, where the more one gave the more one got in return. It was to be named `The Circle of Excellence' and we were all so passionate about this baby. Towards the end, as we were leaving Deepak suggested that this club could be a tribute to a man who had started a movement towards excellence in every aspect of one's life. Vinay and myself agreed enthusiastically. The year the club started I joined St. John's Medical College and passed on an opportunity to become a founder member of a club that the three of us had envisioned to become a model for other clubs to follow. In 1924 a visionary started a movement in Los Angeles, years later the `Circle of Excellence' envisioned by two and half men (I was way too young then!), was baptized `LA 1924'. In 2005, I, Sachin D'Souza, have come a full circle. I never ever mentioned it to anyone other than Pradman, since he is my mentor and friend, mainly because I desired to be treated in the club based on my progress and performance rather than just pedigree. I joined LA1924 not because it is the best club or because of the interesting people who are now part of it but because it is MY CLUB and I have a personal, special and secret stake in it.
Ironman, I am glad you asked for my opinion on a personal level as I usually don't give it unless asked for and in this specific case I was anxiously hoping someone would ask me and soon! I know that especially YOU would never respect a person who makes a decision, good or bad, favorable or adverse, without knowing all the facts, right? I know you would never ever take sides blindly, when it comes to fractions in the club, who you hardly know, right? I also know that irrespective of the situation you put me in, you would rather choose to earn my respect over a period of time than my blind allegiance. We both know that there is a world of a difference between gold and gold plated and I really don't want to get into the subject of gold leaves, which fly any which way, the wind blows.
To your specific question about me taking time to think during the fracas, I do believe in justifying all my decisions. How then would I justify my decision in this particular case, in the absence of known facts? Do I base my decision on trust? I believe trust between individuals develops over a considerable period of time, so in this instance, trust is ruled out. The only thing I have left, is instinct. Instinct! We know that there are many situations where our next move can only be based on instinct. We also know that passing judgment is not one of them. Ian, you'll agree with me that a dog however intelligent or loyal doesn't plough the field, doesn't lay eggs, doesn't give enough milk but it certainly occupies a unique place in our homes like no other animal does. Its only appreciable function is to provide its master unconditional love and treat the master like god, (unlike cats which consider themselves as gods!). It doesn't judge and never ever disagrees. I love dogs and I believe that this behavior is totally acceptable and adorable when it comes to domestic pets and acquaintances. Like you, it is the last quality I seek from those who choose to associate themselves with me. Pman called me one night and gave me an honest opinion of my second speech delivery. I truly appreciate him for moving beyond the niceties into hard reality resulting in my relationship with Pman maturing beyond the superficial, just like I know it will with you and the rest of the members of LA1924 over a period of time.
Without being judgmental about other club members' decisions, I know that you would rather have my well thought out decision to abstain from choosing between two fractions, that I hardly care much for as I'm just a novice at LA 1924, than receive my unconditional loyalty. I sincerely appreciate you, Dr. Pushy and the chairperson for giving me the opportunity to abstain from taking a stand in a dispute where I believe I had no locus standi. You know me well enough to know that I would have it no other way. I even saw Dr. Pushy nodding her head encouragingly when I requested for time and I thank her sincerely for her support, in my brief moment of altered sensorium. Enough time for the dispute to be settled so I could continue on my focused journey to bring added value to LA1924 irrespective of who is left in my club and of the fact that I will be in India for a short while. I speak only for myself in regard to my reason for request for time. Like you, I owe allegiance only to LA1924 and not to any fractions or demi-gods within its august body, now or ever. I now feel like LA1924 seems to get more and more personal to me as I write this mail!
As far as the sequence of events that took place, the sight of bloodshed doesn't make me squirm. I've always believed in the saying `Never bring a knife to a gun fight'. I am not one bit disillusioned with what happened yesterday either, since I am now richer because of the experience and I thank you for it. As a leader of an organization and also a medical professional, I would definitely not hesitate to amputate a gangrenous limb to save the rest of the body.
Please respect my decision to keep my lines of communication open with CK and FG as I still firmly refuse to take sides on this personal matter and neither they nor you for that matter, have done me any wrong. So whether I choose to talk to them or not, should be of no concern to anyone else in the club. As far as concerns that might be
raised in this regard, everyone knows that I will never be consciously drawn into a circle of malicious gossip or be party to character assassinations. Let me be clear, it brings me no joy and I don't encourage it one bit. On the other hand I admit I do enjoy harmless gossip, if there is such a thing, occasionally and love a friendly one
on one verbal duel, with conversation filled with undertones transpiring simultaneously on many levels, partly verbal and the other part through body language with the closest of my friends. I enjoy it and don't believe in involving third parties that may take away the immense pleasure I derive from it. Only one rule, it has to be fun for both. I love it when we keep asking Tarun for his wedding date!
A mob always judges a leader by his followers. I choose to go with the quote `the function of leadership is to produce more effective leaders, not more followers'. Dr. Pushy had my vote (one of the first votes), my respect, much before I met you and for the future, she will always have my unfailing, unimpeachable honesty. I also firmly believe that like us, she is one remarkable individual who definitely doesn't desire `yes-men or women' to be part of LA1924. Even though I do not know you well enough, I know that Dr. Pushy and my mentor, Pradman, who make me constantly wish I had their command over words and people, have earned my respect. I also know who was and is their leader. If it wasn't for your persistent efforts to maintain high standards and preserve its existence, I am sure there would not have been an LA1924 for me to return to, when I did, two months ago. For that, I will always be grateful.
Wow, I can't believe that I have managed to write so much since I am still having severe problems filling up half a sheet for my third project! Thank you, Ironman, for calling me over the phone and taking the trouble to find out and empathize with my feelings. I was so glad to hear that you believed, that in my particular case, though I refused to show false loyalty to any fraction, my loyalty to LA1924 was never at question. It felt good to know that you will always be there to vouch for my sincere intentions in times when my blunt honesty proves to be painful and my loyalty unnecessarily questioned. It was a personal effort on your part that I will not forget in a hurry.
Ironman, thank you for asking me to join MY club. I accept this sincere and personal invitation graciously.
With Warm Regards
Sachin
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Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
-James Bryant Conant
